Forgiven Much, Loving Much: Unblocking the Soul

"I tell you, her sins - and they are many - have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little, shows only little love", Luke 7:47

Loving and being loved by God, ourselves and others is the highest form of wellness. We were created for connection. Like our joined lungs, inhaling and exhaling, souls were made to interact; receiving and giving God's love. As the air we breathe, it's the Holy Spirit who enables us to connect and love according to our original design.

Sin's curse, the Choices Understanding Relational Structural Effect, changed everything. Hearts were turned from God-worship, to self & idol worship. Mental perception was warped, filtered through a twisted lens of pain and deception. We began to relate to each other using fear-based, self-defense mechanisms. Our bodies experienced disorder, sickness, injury and disease. The entire heart, soul, mind and body system became misaligned, blocking our ability to fully engage in deep, holy love. The devastating loss was tremendous, the long-lasting consequences, heartbreaking.

In Luke 7, we learn about a sinful woman, who had come to a Pharisee's house where Jesus was. Weeping, she poured costly perfume on His feet, then wiped them with her hair. This bold, out-pouring of affection prompted the Pharisee to question Jesus' judgment in allowing such an intimate act from a known sinner. Jesus then tells the parable of two men, one with a large debt and the other with a smaller one, which were both forgiven. He asks which one loved more and Simon answers, the one who'd been forgiven most.

This woman's courage was astounding. Surely, she had some idea what was being thought and said about her. She knew her history. Yet, her humble display of devotion revealed that the "cost" of her reputation and sacrificial offering was worth it. She recognized real Love and only wanted to be as close to Him as possible, no matter what.

How did this happen? How did she go from being a brazen sinner to a brave worshipper? Her faith (verse 50) enabled her to perceive Christ's divine nature. Her many transgressions were no match for Jesus' pure, powerful mercy. Knowing she was seen with all-knowing, yet compassionate eyes, cleared her self-perception. It moved and emboldened her. What He thought of her mattered more than anyone else in the room. The lowly place at His feet, to her, was the highest place of honor.

Love changes the equation.

What a profound picture! Jesus commends her belief, tells her she's forgiven and sends her away with a peaceful blessing. The awareness of something greater than her sin, changed her. Forgiveness was the override that dwarfed everything else. Whatever she'd done, whatever was done to her - Jesus was bigger. No human opinion could outweigh His. Shame, the tragic byproduct of sin, could not keep her from brokenly, fearlessly presenting herself to Him. Her "badness" was overshadowed by His goodness. She neither defended herself, nor hid from the judgmental eyes of others. Her gaze focused on The Judge and her selfless surrender was marked in history. Love changed her equation. It always does.

I learned shame early. Sexual and physical abuse at a young age caused me to view life through shame-filled eyes. I believed all that happened to me was because I was defective, dirty and unlovable. I also learned rage. I hated myself and my abusers. I became bitter, violent and destructive. Because I never processed and released my pain in a healthy way, I carried it constantly. In an effort to protect myself from more suffering, I would lash out or cut people off. Then, I'd feel abandoned and rejected all over again. I felt justified in my evil response to the evil that happened to me. This hopeless cycle blocked my soul from true connection with God, others and even myself. I felt incapable of changing. The call to love and obey Christ, by loving my neighbor as myself, seemed far out of reach.

God heard me.

This bible story intrigued me. I wanted that woman's passion. I longed to be so connected to Christ, that nothing and no one could affect me. I knew I was guilty of not loving much. I exercised my small faith by praying for a fresh awareness of forgiveness, so real love could flow. God heard.

I was led to Hebrews 3:12, which warns not to have an evil, unbelieving heart that causes us to fall away from God. In John 16:9, Jesus says the world's sin is that it doesn't believe in Him. I realized that I didn't believe, really believe, that God was completely good. I didn't think my pain mattered to Him. I didn't know His incredible compassion was deep enough to grieve my wounds, and strong enough to cause me to overcome. If we don't believe in God's utter goodness, we will never believe He sent us Jesus. Without faith, we will focus on our suffering and not the One who's mighty in the midst of it. My pain had become the biggest thing in my life, my identity. I didn't think of how I treated others. I felt pain exempted me from obedience. It blinded me to my need of both healing and forgiveness. I was stuck and afraid. I needed a miracle.

When I repented (changed how I think) of my unbelief, I received forgiveness and got healed. Faith, carried out in obedience, unblocked me. Weighing the staggering gift of forgiveness and right standing with Christ, made me want to extend it to others. Becoming cross-focused made me grace-centered and thankful. Practiced love changed my equation and released me to be the person I was created to be. Forgiven. Faithful. Free.

May the Holy Spirit bless you with repentance and restoration, in Jesus' name.

All rights reserved, Veronica Jimenez, Sound Mind Awareness ©2014