Christ & The Dysfunctional Family

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" Ps 127:1

There are no perfect people, so there are no perfect families. We are all made of flesh, which is hostile to God. We have a real, ruthless enemy; constantly at work to destroy what God loves. We are both victims and perpetrators of the destructive nature of sin. Even as believers, we are being changed from glory to glory (2 Cor 3:18); in the process of maturing in Christ. We don't attain perfection here. It's a fight. A good, worthy fight that gets messy and hurts. All families have stories of suffering. None escape the warfare against order and truly bold, fearless love. Yet, God loves families! He designed them and allowed His only Son to be sacrificed to restore order, hope and healing. Christ died for the dysfunctional family.

"Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword" Matt 10:34 NLT

How can we bring order and peace to a family that's not functioning as God intended? By allowing God to rebuild it. A sound structure needs a solid foundation. The old, faulty design has to be torn down, so the new can be built. Identifying root problems; calling them what God calls them (not labeling evil as good and good, evil - Isaiah 5:20) begins to clear the way. This tearing down process is what I believe the above scripture is referring to. The verses that come after, tell of enmity among relatives and a warning that anyone loving their parents or children more than Jesus, isn't worthy of Him. These verses may seem inconsistent with Christ, the loving Prince of Peace; but they are not. He is all truth and all light. They are referring to the false peace that exists when sinful behavior patterns go unaddressed. Some, we may not even be aware of. Others; such as disrespect, violence and abuse are more obvious. No matter the level of dysfunction, Christ is the answer. His Word, the separating sword of truth; teaches us where healthy divisions can be made. Because He is a God of order (1 Cor 14:33) we need to learn His structure and higher ways to restore true, life-giving peace.

"So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, 'Abba, Father'" Rom 8:15

God knows all our pain and fear. He's well aware that adjusting to our adoption will take awareness, obedience, time and grace. I am so thankful for His constant help and presence when I began this process. My father killed himself when I was a child, so it was very difficult for me to trust that I'd be loved fully and faithfully. When we know we are loved, we love better. It wasn't until I learned I could trust Him, that I was able to obey Him and begin loving my family in a life-changing, healthy way.

My new adopted and equipped status helped me to "Put away childish things" (1 Cor 13:11) so I could develop Godly, mature love. I learned to process pain from the mindset of a healed, overcoming adult. I did not fear the pain that came with the "cutting" of His word, because I trusted His mercy. Since love and patience are fruits of the Holy Spirit, I was able to be patient with myself and offended family members (Jesus' ways were offensive) as I applied holy boundaries. There were painful, pruning times of separation from relatives that eventually blossomed to new life.

Through every season, God was faithful. Whenever fear attacked my mind, I would, turn from the lie against God's goodness, remember His blessings, choose to love the way He taught and practiced new behaviors that changed our family dynamic. The purifying, strengthening pain of obeying Christ was worth it. I'd done much damage to my loved ones, in my bipolar/borderline state. He is still restoring and doing miracles. Humble obedience Him grew my faith and He moved mightily.

The Holy Spirit can change, even the darkest of situations.

Invite the living God into your situation. The Holy Spirit isn't intimidated by our dysfunction. We were created by the God that formed us from dirt, then breathed His own breath in us so He could be in a relationship with us. Even after it was broken, God made a way through Jesus, for us to be related again. Without believing and walking in the incredible, matchless love of God, we will resort to our own broken ways of relating. Only knowing and following Him will we truly love our neighbors as ourselves, so our families will reflect His glory. The cross makes this possible. This is redemption. This is God, our Father, who can heal anything.

Sound Mind Awareness, Veronica Jimenez ©2019 All rights reserved.