Rage & Shame: Our Emotional "Fight or Flight"

We will either fight or run from what we are afraid of.

Fear is the lie that God is not good. When that lie is believed in our hearts and communicated to our minds, it is demonstrated through our souls. Biologically, the body's reaction to fear is the "Fight or Flight" response. Emotionally, we respond through rage and shame.

Genesis three tells the story of how shame began. After Adam and Eve sinned, the bible says they realized they were naked, made coverings for themselves and hid. Shame is the fear of exposed rejection. Although God hadn't changed, sin warped Adam and Eve's perception of Him. God, who lovingly created them, had fellowship with them and provided for them; was now to be hidden from and avoided. 1 John 4:18 says that perfect love drives out fear because fear involves punishment. Shame fears the punishment of rejection by God. When the enemy was able to convince them of the lie and sin twisted their view of Him, they fled.

Shame is the fear of exposed rejection.

Rage is the fear of powerlessness.

Later, we read in Genesis four about the first sons born to Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel. Cain had been raised by shaming parents. The curse produced a frustrated father and a manipulative mother. They passed on their fear of exposed rejection, along with their dysfunctional relating. The bible says Abel brought God the best of his flock as an offering, which was accepted. Cain offered some of his fruit from the ground he worked, but it was rejected, which made him angry. It seems Cain's heart wasn't in the right place towards God, and it was reflected in what he brought. Abel felt God was worthy of his best.

When God speaks to Cain, He tells him to do right and he'd be accepted. He also warns him that if he didn't master sin, it would pounce on him and rule him. Cain, even after hearing from God Himself, didn't believe Him. He was frustrated, jealous, and felt powerless to make himself acceptable. Cain took shame a step further. He refused to believe God was telling the truth, and his fear of punishment manifested in an aggressive, murderous rage. Caine killed his own brother.

Sin caused Cain to see God as a liar who plays favorites and is impossible to please. This helpless feeling, fueled by the lie against God's goodness, caused Cain to exhibit an act of power. When God had confronted Adam about his sin, Adam blamed Eve. Shame causes us to give our power away. Cain dealt with his false feeling of powerlessness by fighting and taking power away from Abel. Even after God tells Cain his punishment for this, Cain tells Him it was too much for him to bear. More powerlessness.

The answer to shame and rage is light and hope.

We conquer shame by coming into the light of God's presence. There is nothing hidden from Him. God already knows all our sin, that's why He sent us the Savior. When we practice being seen, telling the truth and not hiding, shame loses its power.

Rage is healed by hope. We need to grieve the times when we were truly helpless and suffered for it and believe God has a higher purpose. None of our pain is wasted. Our true power comes from choosing to do right, even when it hurts.

Prayer for healing rage and shame: Heavenly Father, thank you for caring about my pain. Please forgive me for not believing you are all good, all the time. Make me aware when I am operating out of shame and hiding and giving my power away. Show me when I am feeling hopeless and taking power from others. Help me believe in and walk in your unfailing love. In Christ's name, amen.

All rights reserved Veronica Jimenez, Sound Mind Awareness ©2014.