What's In A Name?

If I label you, I can disable you.

Labeled

"The label is a mighty thing

Able to change how you think

How you speak and walk and live

What you love, believe and give"

From, More Soul Revelations: Pain & Promise by Veronica Jimenez

When I was diagnosed as bipolar, an amazing thing happened. At first, I was deeply ashamed. I felt like a complete failure at life, and as if I'd been handed a terrible sentence. I was told there was no cure and that I'd have to be on medication the rest of my life. Also, that it was genetic and that my children probably have it, too. This sympathetic doctor explained that it wasn't my fault, but, I would need to get on other medications right away, before I got worse.

"There is no cure, you'll need medication the rest of your life"

I knew what worse meant. I was already self-harming, violent and could not stop thinking about suicide. I had been married thirteen years to a police officer and had five beautiful children. I belonged to a supportive, caring church. I lived in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. I had loving friends. Yet, I was still stuck. Antidepressants weren't working and I felt completely out of control. I believed I was incapable of becoming the person I truly wanted to be. With each attempt to end my life, I'd lose the fear of it. There had already been three suicides in my family. Worse, for me; meant the end.

"A, no-cure prognosis with chemical doses, relief-from-responsibility-osis" - Labeled

The second thing I felt was, relief. This psychiatrist explained all my terrible behavior with a scribble in my chart. It wasn't my fault. The screaming, the destruction, the chaos - all a result of my faulty brain and genetics. I had been called crazy all my life, and here was my validation. No one would be surprised. Although, I did feel sadness that this was all I'd ever be; that none of my secret dreams would ever come true and for the awful shame I'd bring on my family, I did feel a certain sense of ease that I didn't have to try anymore.

I had begged God to heal me, countless times. I'd gone up to the altar for prayer over and over again. I did all I thought I knew to be well and failed, miserably. Now, I could accept this painful, yet oddly comforting label and move on the best I could. "Mentally ill", was my new identity. I embraced it.

I got worse. Despite the sixteen medications, programs, therapists and hospitalizations; I got sicker than I'd ever been. Looking back, I realize only the grace of God kept me alive. My marriage is a miracle. The fact that I have loving relationships with my children is a pure act of mercy, for which I give all thanks, praise and credit to God. My divine healing happened in stages, but there was a key shift that made a significant difference: I renewed my original identity.

"Confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed", James 5:16

When I accepted my bipolar identity, I stopped calling my behaviors sin and instead called them symptoms. People don't confess medical symptoms, because they are not responsible for them. It is, however; the confession of our sins that brings healing. When we adopt the world's terminology for the human condition, we also adopt their solutions for it - and they don't have it. The answer to every human being's lost identity is in their Creator. Letting God define me changed everything.

Only the Creator of something has the right to label it. I write songs and poetry, for people to enjoy. I don't let them rename my work. Each piece is unique and special to me and only I know where it truly came from. We were created in God's image, for His glory (Genesis 1:27, Isaiah 43:7). Any other description of us is a lie. We were made by Him, for Him and each of us has a special purpose to fulfill. When I began to speak and behave like the child of God I was created to be, Truth set me free and I was restored.

May your loving Creator reveal who you truly are. May the Holy Spirit give you the courage and strength to discard all false labels you may have accepted. There is only one you in all creation, and you are a gift to this world. A gift bought with the highest price of Christ on the cross. You were fashioned, with care by the God so in love with the work of His hands, that He sent His only, sinless Son as a payment for our sins - just so He could have a relationship with us. That is who we really are. We are His.

All rights reserved Veronica Jimenez, Sound Mind Awareness ©2014.